there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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