Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
