I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
