You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
third nipple confirmed
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
