If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
A+ Viking dick
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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