Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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