Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My life is pants optional.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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