my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
