I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i need some magic done to my vagina
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
