I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
