The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
