when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
