He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
