Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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