yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
