you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Bring me that man meat
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