it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
