Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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