my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
