so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
