its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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