I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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