lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i used baking grease as lip gloss
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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