If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
