...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
