i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
