So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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