he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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