Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
