I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
