why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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