You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
