And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
