So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
