just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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