so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
