so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
