I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
