ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
