32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
