is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
