I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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