What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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