u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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