And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
