Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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