Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize