We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize