it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize