I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So here I am, sexting at work.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
