how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
