we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize