If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She needs sedatives and a leash
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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