Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
