So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
No subtext here. People are naked.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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