singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
