hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
