It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
