So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She needs sedatives and a leash
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize