oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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