Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think your dad took our porno
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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