as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
