His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
