when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
