omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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