:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
